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The Way of the CFIDS Warrior I will see my role in this illness from the perspective of a warrior. I will not perceive myself as a victim and will avoid the victim mentality
at all costs. I will banish "Why me?" from my inner and spoken vocabulary. This doesn't
mean I can't cry or scream when the DD is winning, but I will set limits
to the amount of time and energy I devote to grieving. I will try to learn grace in defeat while keeping whatever receptors
are functioning open for paths to even the smallest joy or victory. I will do my utmost not to become dependent on medication but I will
not scorn any susstance or strategy that can be of use in the battle. I will do research and seek medical advice but I will never follow any
advice blindly. I will refuse to be embarrassed by my physical and neurological handicaps
but will rather acknowledge them as badges of honor in my long campaign(I
am still out here in spite of them). I will not depress myself be thinking about what should be but will
marshal all my resourses to deal with what IS happening to me. I will be resigned to fighting on alone and go on even if my friends
abandon me. I will try to have no unrealistic expectations of my friends, relatives
or caretakers. I will be grateful for any love or concern that comes my way. I will not blame my friends if they are tired of hearing I am not better
and if they forget me because they are living full, busy lives. I will forgive myself if I get discouraged, say the wrong thing, or
fail myself or others. I will not allow my suffering to blind me to the needs of others or
to the wonderful sweetness of life. I will not allow the DD that clouds my sight, my cognitive vision and
my memory to blind my spirit. I will use my suffering as creatively as possible. I will assist those I come in contact with to the full extent of my
limited ability. I will keep laughing and try to remember through the haze that laughing
at oneself and at life is one of the warrior's sharpest weapons. I will remember that my spirit can soar even while my body and mind
are crawling or stalled. I will try, I will win infintisimal victoires, I will fail, I will scream
and I will try again.
merlin1@capecod.net |
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